STRESS LESS!
A newsletter devoted to those who want to achieve more from their work and lives.
July 2004
Table of Contents:
1. Hello!
2. Inspirational Quotes
3. Practical strategies for Stressing less
4. Resources That Can Help
5. A final word!
6. Closing Notes
1. Hello!
Dear Readers -
I have recently returned from the most magical time of my life in Italy, where I spent 5 weeks relaxing and rejuvenating my soul. I can honestly say that the period leading up to my trip would have to rate as one of the all time high stressful times of my life. I had so much on my plate that it is simply amazing to me that I managed to get through it at all. I know for certain that simple things like massages, exercise, cutting out coffee and alcohol, all helped build some resilience around me during this time of upheaval. However, simply one of the best ways to restore after highly stressful times, and build greater stress resilience for future stressful times is REST. You would think this would be obvious, but sometimes the most effective things to do are the hardest – especially if you are passionate about what you do and have a high achievement drive. Take it from me - I know. I have really had to discipline myself to take a break. Don’t laugh – it’s harder than you may think!
So what is stress? It’s hard to find one universal definition but one of the most commonly accepted definitions of stress, are:
“Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that “demands exceed the personal and social resources that the individual is able to mobilise.”
(Richard S Lazaraus)
“Stress is the reaction people have to excessive pressures or other types of demands placed upon them. It arises when they worry that they can’t cope.”
(NZ Occupational Safety and Health 2003)
Stress is something we all feel everyday. It isn’t something that only happens when we’re under particular pressure, and it’s not always a bad thing. Some mild stress is good for you. It gives you a feeling of excitement and makes you want to do even better than your doing at the moment. It reminds us that we are alive.
However, too much stress can do the opposite. Stress that goes on for too long or which cumulatively builds up can make you sick. Biologically we are incapable of sustaining prolonged levels of stress and if not addressed what happens is the body’s adaptive resources become exhausted. In fact too much stress can give you chronic headaches, affect your blood pressure, contribute to ulcers and heart disease, weaken you immune system, and even cause the most optimistic person to become depressed and even suicidal. Excess stress is a serious issue, but the great news is that people can be helped to avoid too much bad “stress”, so they don’t become ill, suffer burnout or, even worse, die.
I care about your health and well-being and I hope this newsletter provides some helpful insights and strategies to help you manage your stress levels through any current and future demands you may be experiencing.
Passionately yours,
Cassandra
2. WISDOM QUOTES
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.”
--Mark Twain
“Burnout occurs when passionate, committed people become deeply disillusioned with a job or career from which they have previously derived much of their identity and meaning. It comes as the things that inspire passion and enthusiasm are stripped away, and tedious or unpleasant things crowd in.”
- Source: www.mindtools.com
“Being thwarted in our wants is a sure-fire recipe for being distressed and unhappy. The gap between what we want and what we have is one of the greatest contributors to stress. And ironically, it is all caused by our perceptions and beliefs about what is important”
-- From The Less Stress Book, Consumers Institute
“Whether or not a person experiences stress at work depends upon the person’s perception of what is going on and the person’s coping skills. It is not the circumstance, it is your REACTION to it that counts”
-- Dr. Al Siebert.
“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us, and those around us more effectively. Look for the learning.”
--Eric Allenbaugh
"I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness
depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the
nature of those events themselves."
-- Wilhelm von Humboldt
”The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell and a Hell of Heaven.”
--John Milton
“He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age.”
--Plato
If you are hungry for more inspirational quotes on failure please check out our web link:
http://www.worklifesolutions.co.nz/res_inspiration.php?menu=res&page=res_inspiration&categoryType=4&submit=Display
PRACTICAL STRATEGIES For Stressing Less
Life seems to be continuing to move at lightening speed, and even with the best will in the world it can seem impossible to get off the treadmill and head off for a well-earned rush. Anecdotally we know that many of us are doing more, and more with less and less. The easy option to stress less is to downsize, reduce gears and take a load off your plate. The trouble is that often during our lives this just doesn’t seem possible. Listed below are some simple strategies to help you build resilience during unusually stressful times. They are not long-term cures, but some of the tips outlined below may just help give you a little bit more endurance to see you through.
1.) KNOW WHAT’S STRESSING YOU OUT
Stress is cumulative, and if it is prolonged or we have too much on the go at once our normal coping skills can be diminished. Because stress arises because we worry we cannot cope making a list of all the things that are worrying you or that stress you out, and then trying to work out solutions, is an effective way to get some control over your stress levels.
2.) HEED THE WARNING SIGNS – LISTEN TO YOUR BODY BAROMETER
Often we are so busy trying to cope that we are not even aware of how much strain we are under. One of the key things to remember is that our worrying that we cannot cope, even if it is not actively voiced, triggers the promotion of stress messages in our brain. When our lives lack balance this leads to state of brain chemical imbalance known as – OVERSTRESS. These negative brain messages then flow to other organs in our bodies sending them into over-drive and high state of alert. People complain of being tired, unable to fall asleep or to obtain a restful night's sleep. They have plagues of aches and pains, lack of energy, lack of enjoyment of life. They feel depressed, anxious, tearful or just unable to cope with life.
Many people soldier on ignoring the signs their body is giving them that they are overstressed. Some live to tell their stories and the lessons they learnt – others aren’t so lucky. I got shingles once, a virus that attacks the central nervous system, one of my colleagues suffered a heart attack. Learn to listen to your body and to heed the warning signs it is giving you before it is too late. We can be really successful in deluding ourselves that we can cope but the body never lies.
Classic physical signs include:
Increased heart rate
Pounding heart
Sweaty palms
Elevated blood pressure
Tightness of the chest, neck, jaw and back muscles
Headache
Diarrhoea
Constipation
Unable to pass urine or incontinence
Trembling
Twitching
Stuttering and other speech difficulties
Nausea
Vomiting
Sleep disturbances
Fatigue
Being easily startled
Shallow, rapid breathing
Dryness of mouth or throat
Cold hands
Susceptibility to minor illnesses
Itching
Chronic pain
But stress also takes a toll on our emotional well-being. Classic emotional signs of being under too much strain include:
Tearfulness
Impatience
Frightened
Moody
Highs and lows
Feeling of loss/grief
Depressed
Angry
Irritated
Short tempered
Anxiety
3.) TAKE CONTROL
We can beat the stress response by preparing to deal more effectively with events that are foreseeable, or by putting in strategies that increase our resilience so that we are able to cope better.
PREPARING TO DEAL WITH EVENTS IN ADVANCE
Identify stressful events in advance
Avoid them if possible - e.g. get up earlier to avoid running late for interviews or network meetings
Identify your stress reactions so that you can pamper yourself i.e. if you know you have a heavy load coming up factor in more self-care activities, such as massages
Plan an attack: What options do you have? What is the most realistic solution?
Plan small, realistic steps: don’t try to do everything at once
Choose a few important goals: some things may have to go by the board
Praise yourself when you achieve
For example, Mary’s boss used to stress her out because he always dumped things on her at the last moment. To reduce her stress levels she decided to proactively manage his diary, and she also called a meeting and told him she would work more effectively if she could have a greater lead-time to prepare. He was glad she told him as he had no idea his behaviour effected her in this way.
Some other strategies to increase your resilience to stress include the following suggestios:
4.) TRY A DIFFERENT ANGLE
All the stress experts agree that it the way that we view events that creates stress. So it seems obvious that if we want to reduce our stress levels we need to change the way we view events. It’s the old glass half full-or half-empty battle!
PERCEPTION: CHANGING HOW YOU VIEW EVENTS
Reframe:
change the way you see the event, e.g. when you wake up in the middle of the night, see this as extra time to read, plan and think; see problems as challenges;
Look at the here and now: what you are worrying about may never happen
Self-talk:
make it positive: not “I can’t cope”, but “I can do this; I’ve handled change before” or “ I trust myself to be able to handle this”
Don’t think in absolutes:
You will disappoint yourself. Believing” I must be perfect at everything I do all the time” is setting yourself up for failure.
It’s OK to feel bad: It is a myth that we feel good all the time
Don’t focus on the bad: not “The car has broken down - why me?” but “It’s a nuisance, but I’ll deal with it”.
5.) UP SKILL
If we have the skills to deal with an event, we feel more in control and are less likely to get stressed. Lots of people I know personally, and others I have coached professionally over the years, have personally and professionally benefited from improving their communication skills, assertiveness coaching, ability to delegate, self-esteem, confidence, and time management skills. Others have benefited hugely from learning how to meditate.
If you are worried about losing your job, or hate the life you are leading, now may be the time to learn some new skills or hire an expert to help you work out what you really want to do with your life. As a wise person once said, “I could do anything if I only knew what it was.”
6.) ELIMINATE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
“By change of thought comes change of reaction”
Unwanted stress can lead to negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger and resentment. These emotions left un-addressed are the great energy robbers. Pinpoint the cause and look for a solution. Resist the urge to take the easy options and play “victim.” In the short term it may seem like the easy option but long term this unresolved source of stress will create havoc on your mind, body and soul. Stay away from negative people too – encourage them to come up with solutions or as Thumper once said in the movie Bambi “If you aint got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
There is incredibly wide spread ignorance of how emotions actually work. People struggle with the idea that the majority of people actually choose their emotions. It is impossible for one human being to make another angry, sad, depressed, or happy. There is always a point of choice.
Stressed or not, we can determine our reaction. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make me angry without my consent.”
Be a guard for your words, thoughts and feelings and call in the cavalry – grab anything that makes you feel better about yourself and what you have to offer. If you are struggling to deal with negative emotions, seek advice from the experts – remember a problem shared is a problem solved.
7.) INCREASE YOUR FEEL GOOD HORMONES - TAP INTO YOUR PASSION
Charles Kovess, author of “Passionate People Produce,” describes passion as: “a source of unlimited energy from the soul that enables people to achieve extraordinary results.” Often when you feel stressed, you can feel too tired to do anything at all. Often the things that you love to do are the first things to be traded just to get through the day.
Passion gives people energy, vitality and a heightened sense of well-being. It’s one of the greatest stress busters of all, and promotes the generation of endorphins – feel good chemicals that give us an extra spring in our step. When you tap into something you deeply believe in you may be amazed at the results.
If you need some help rekindling your passion, or even discovering it in the first place, check out The Passion Pack or our coaching solutions described in the resources section.
8.) MOVE!
During time of stress we can become lethargic and lack energy. During such times we can feel that we don’t even have the energy or time to exercise. This may lead to feelings of depression as well as increased irritability. Numerous studies have shown that exercise promotes the production of positive endorphins, which play a key role in making us feel better about ourselves and our capacity to cope. Research from Princeton University in the States, even suggests that regular physical activity may grow new brain cells. Exercise also helps to activate both hemispheres of their brains so that they can then begin to rationalize – bringing a new perspective as well as greater tolerance to life’s stressors.
9.) BREATHE!
Under stress our breathing is reversed. Instead of breathing slowly and deeply our breathing tends to become shallower and more rapid. Under extreme stress we can forget to breathe at all! In a state of joy and relaxation, we are breathing in a deep circular pattern, our heart comes into coherence, and we begin to produce alpha brain waves, alleviating pain, accessing our own natural tranquillisers and antidepressants. So breathing deeply can bring a state of calm and perspective during times of stress, allowing us to cope more effectively and to slow down or inhibit the stress response
If you have forgotten how to breath try this:
Breathe in deeply for a count of 4, and exhale slowing for a count of 8. Repeat 10 times. Notice how quickly your body and mind relaxes. Try this anywhere, anytime you feel feelings of stress returning and beat the stress response.
10.) DONT GET STRESSED - GET A LIFE!
“Being thwarted in our wants is a sure-fire recipe for being distressed and unhappy. The gap between what we want and what we have is one of the greatest contributors to stress. And ironically, it is all caused by our perceptions and beliefs about what is important”
From The Less Stress Book, Consumers Institute
Lack of balance leads to feelings of stress, and a key reason for this is often spending a disproportionate amount of time and energy on work. Finding time for the things you enjoy and prioritising the things that are most important is critical if you want to reduce your stress levels.
Research proves that people who organise their whole life their work are more prone to high levels of stress and the development of Post-traumatic embitterment disorder – a disorder that covers almost every negative emotion a person can have at work. To avoid this disorder Professor Linden suggests that: “People should not put their work above everything else, but put time and energy into their families, hobbies, and social activities.’
Isolate all the key areas of your life and ask check to see if you have got the balance right. Tip the balance back into favour by making room for those areas of your life you may be neglecting.
11.) REST FOR PEAK PERFORMANCE
In our over-achiever society, where everyone spends more hours every week working or travelling to work, than outdoors exercising, or spending time with their families and friends, the whole concept of stopping and resting to restore ourselves is almost regarded as a crime.
Just as we wouldn’t expect our cars to work 24/7 without a break, it is biologically impossible to us to work without adequate time to rest. Long-term stress and long-term cortisol will literally alter a person's hormonal profile by increasing levels of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Rest allows us to restore the adrenals, and allows the cortisol levels to return to normal.
Give yourself permission to take time every day and every week to rest your mind and body. This is a spiritual principle taught very well in the Bible, but even the most spiritual people often feel they are worth nothing unless they are working or doing every waking hour of the day. Yet as we know, some of the symptoms of stress include reduced cognitive or thinking capabilities. As a result people under huge stress often make more mistakes, have memory losses and take longer to achieve less. So taking a break is a great way to revitalise you performance and to work smarter not harder.
12.) PUT THE RIGHT FUEL IN YOUR TANK
Knock stimulants such as caffeine, alcohol and nicotine on the head (or at least limit your intake). These trigger the production of the stress-related hormone adrenaline, which increases the heart rate, prompts the liver to release more sugar into your bloodstream and makes the lungs take in more oxygen. Whilst we may get a short term high, in the long run, this activity results in fatigue and low energy levels – leading to a vicious cycle of relying on more stimulants to get us through the day.
Aside from serious health implications, smoking robs the blood, muscles, brain and organs of oxygen, impeding their functions and causing us to feel tired and light headed. Nicotine also increases levels of adrenaline and creates a vicious cycle of energy highs and lows. Cut down or stop. To help curb cravings, try taking a complex B vitamin supplement.
For more energy up your intake of water and eat plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit.
14) LAUGH THERAPY
Inject some more laughter into your life. Laughter and humour is a great tonic during stressful times. Go and see a funny movie or rent a stack of wacky videos. Taking life or ourselves too seriously is a recipe for disaster.
15.) CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or a Buddhist monk to meditate –mediation is about learning how to control your thoughts and the negative chatterbox in your mind. The trick is to find a technique that works for you. Some popular technique are focusing on the breath, counting, and Transcendental Meditation.
Recent research published in New Scientist, and also Time Magazine has revealed that mediation can help to de-stress, feel calmer, increase their confidence and reduce feelings of fear, anger and anxiety. The research found that regular meditation can tame the amygdala, an area of the brain which is the hub of negative emotions. People who mediate regularly are less likely to be shocked, flustered, surprised or as angry as other people and have a great stress tolerance threshold as a result.
Affirmations work well too. Many people don’t realise that the negative things they are saying to themselves are in fact affirming what they don’t want to be true.” Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, and repeat often for maximum effect
If you want to feel better about life get meditating and affirm what you want to be true!.
16.) DESIGN YOUR OWN STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN
Stress less by making a commitment to change. Identify the key areas in your life that are causing the most stress in your life currently. Choose a minimum of four coping strategies that know or feel would work for you in dealing with stress and schedule time in your life for putting these strategies into place. Put your stress management plan in a place where you can see it and refer to it regularly, particularly when you start to get stressed.
Before you design your stress management plan you may want to remind yourself why you want to make changes. What are the results you are wanting in your life? I.e. more energy, better performance, improved relationships, increased health? What is the purpose? I.e. To live longer? To live a live of no regret? To feel better about yourself etc Your plan is your map – how you are going to get there.
4. RESOURCES THAT CAN HELP
The Passion Pack:
If you would like to discover some more ways you can inject more passion and satisfaction into your career and life check out The Passion Pack – an inspirational self-development tool, developed by me to help people like you! Full of strategies to overcome the fear of failure and other barriers to a more passionate life. For more details or to order one check out my website www.worklifesolutions.co.nz. It would make a great gift too.
Career and life coaching:
Coaching can help you reduce stress levels, overcome obstacles, get clearer about your passions and goals and tap into proven strategies to help you achieve them. Check out my website for more information about career or life coaching or contact me in person Cassandra@worklifesolutions.co.nz. I’d love to hear from you.
Books:
You can get the book listed below and many more at my favourite, inspirational, book store Pinnacle Books. Phone Colin or Laurel, free phone on 0800 888-004 or visit their website www.pinnaclebooks.co.nz. They would love to hear from you.
“The Worrywarts Companion: 21 Ways to Soothe Yourself and Worry Smart”
By Dr. Beverly Potter
Websites:
Listed below are just one of the websites that address issues related to stress. Self-help by searching for more on www.google.com. If you find any more brilliant ones please let me know – I’d love to share them with others.
www.mindtools.com practical strategies and assessment tools to help you manage work related stressors more effectively
5. A FINAL WORD!
There are several approaches that people can take to remove excess stress from their lives:
1. You can work on changing the way you think about things so that you feel more positive and in control
2. You can work at changing your emotional reactions to events, to take the sting out of situations, so that you feel calmer and less overwhelmed;
3. Or you can tackle stress on the head by taking action. This might mean leaving a stressful relationship or downsizing your career in order to gain relief. It might just mean you up the level of exercise in your life
A final, final word…well, a question in fact...if you are not going to prioritise your health who will? What two changes are you willing to make in your life today...email them to me!!
6. CLOSING NOTES
I LOVE TO HEAR YOUR SUCCESS STORIES. PLEASE SEND ME A NOTE! You can email me at: Cassandra@worklifesolutions.co.nz
GIVE A GIFT TO A FRIEND!
I appreciate your forwarding this article to friends and colleagues.
AUTO RESPONDERS
To receive information about my BUSINESS CONSULTATIONS send a blank
e-mail to: coaches@worklifesolutions.co.nz
To receive information about my PERSONAL CONSULTATIONS send a blank
e-mail to: coaches@worklifesolutions.co.nz
To receive information about my AUDIO TAPES send a blank e-mail to:
resources@worklifesolutions.co.nz
Copyright © 2003, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to
reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this
copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is
attached.
The author of this newsletter is Cassandra Gaisford. Cassandra is a leading expert on the topic of passion and career success. Cassandra is a popular and widely recognised author and motivational speaker as well as a columnist and career expert for the Dominion Post. Her free Newsletter is available at her Web site, http://www.worklifesolutions.co.nz
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