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Table of Contents:
1. Hello!
2. Inspirational Quotes
3. Practical strategies for Whipping The Fear of Failure Into Shape
4. Resources You Can Use
5. A final word!
6. Closing Notes
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1. Hello!
Dear Readers -
I hope the tips which follow in this newsletter provide both inspiration and practical solutions to any career or life dilemmas that you may be experiencing. As you read this edition you will probably notice that I am a huge fan of inspirational quotes. In fact collecting inspirational quotes has become quite a passion.
Here’s one of my all time personal favourites by Robert Kiyoskai, author of Rich Dad. Poor Dad and Retire Rich. Retire Young:
“There is no one in your way except you and your doubts about you. It is easy to stay the same. It is not easy to change. Most people choose to stay the same all their lives. If you take on your self-doubt and your laziness you will find the door to your freedom.”
When I was in The States recently I was lucky enough to meet Richard Bolles –author of, “What Colour is Your Parachute?” I asked Richard about his writing process and what he thought was effective about his writing, and he replied simply, “you know it never fails to amaze me the number of emails I get from people who tell me that there was just one sentence in the whole book that really struck a chord with them and changed their life.”
So less can definitely be more when it comes to wisdom. I hope you will love the “failure” quotes cited below as much as I do. May they give you the courage to overcome your own fears and to pursue your dreams.
Passionately yours,
Cassandra
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2. WISDOM QUOTES
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Robert F. Kennedy
“The downs of our career gave us the strength and anger to overcome what the critics have said. You have to stay hungry, because the minute you stop being hungry is the minute you stop.” The Bee Gees, Rock stars
“Be positive in thinking or you’ll fail before you try” Gabrielle, Singer
“Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence of trial and error experience. Humans have only ever learned through mistakes.” Buckminster Fuller
“If someone says you can’t, that shows you what to do.” John Cage
“If you can't make a mistake, you can't make anything.” Marva Collins
“Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be defeated.” Anon
“I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it is an illusion to me . . . Failure always made me try harder next time.” Michael Jordan
“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.” George Burns
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Henry Ford
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison
“So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because that's where you will find success. On the far side of failure.” Thomas J. Watson, Sr.
“We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never make a mistake never made a discovery.” Samuel Smiles
“A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw
“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” Elbert Hubbard
“I haven’t failed, I have succeeded in finding ways that did not work”
Thomas Edison
“If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you can't, you're probably right.”
Anon
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” Mark Twain
“The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.” Terry Bragg
If you are hungry for more inspirational quotes on failure please check out our web link:
http://www.worklifesolutions.co.nz/res_inspiration.php?
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3. PRACTICAL STRATEGIES FOR WHIPPING FAILURE INTO SHAPE!
I think sometimes we often move through life with too much caution. Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try. I once saw a tee shirt which read, “A life lived in fear is a life lived in hell.” It’s true! Sometimes to get more of what we want in our lives we need to take a risk! The idea is to take a chance, trusting our judgement, our heart and our intuition without risking life or limb.
How can you whip fear of failure into shape: Here are 13 tips:
(In case you are wondering...13 is a lucky number. 13 is the bakers dozen – you get more for less!)
1.) KNOW WHAT YOU ARE REALLY AFRAID OF:
Fear of failure is a common cause of concern for many of my clients who seek career and life coaching. Yet many people are not really that clear about what it is that they are really afraid of, or of the power of negative, and often irrational beliefs. They might say they are afraid of failing and not succeeding, but deep down even bigger fears lurk. Unless you get to the root cause of your fear then it is hard to get the right solution. A good technique that works well for people is to describe their fear and then drill beneath the surface by asking “and what else”…”and what else…” until they run out of “what else’s…”
For example, Dave was afraid of going out networking and was relying on newspapers adverts and recruitment firms to find him work. He wrote down his initial fear “I’m afraid people will think I’m a failure” and then by asking himself “and what else” and writing down his responses he was able to see that at the root of his fear were irrational beliefs about what networking meant.
He believed that people should be happy in their jobs and if they weren’t there was something wrong with them. This stopped him from going out and talking to people who may be able to help him. By challenging and disputing this belief he was able to reframe his negative views and felt much more confident about who he was and what he had to offer.
2.) KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AVOIDING
Another way of getting clear about what you are afraid of is to ask yourself, “What have you have been avoiding?” A good way to problem solve this is to them ask yourself the question, "What is the best and worst things that can happen?" Often the fear our failing is out of proportion to the benefits that can accrue if you dare to take a risk. Writing pro’s and con’s in this way is a great strategy to gain a more rational and objective overview.
3.) CHANGE YOUR FOCUS – LOOK FOR EVIDENCE OF SUCCESS.
Too often people have their mind focused on all the ways they can fail without reminding themselves of all the ways they have succeeded in the past. These failure messages compound their fears making it very hard to make positive changes. An amazing and very powerful technique is to refocus your attention. As one wise person said, “We make real what we attend to.”
I once came across the following statement in Kaye Douglas’s inspirational book, “Living out Loud” and share this with you in the hope that it will inspire you too:
“ I realized that I had been collecting evidence of failures, telling myself “I can’t do this because…” and sometimes they were old failure messages from the past. To overcome my doubts and fears I started to look for and collecting evidence of my success…sometimes people would come up to me and say, “you really spoke to me. That touched me,” and I’d go home and write that down. So I started to think that I was worthwhile because I had proof of it. And once I could shore myself up with the external proof I got better at not needing it.”
Where are you putting all your energy and attention? How could you reframe your focus?
4.) TAP INTO YOUR PASSION
Charles Kovess, author of “Passionate People Produce,” describes passion as: “a source of unlimited energy from the soul that enables people to achieve extraordinary results.” When you tap into something you deeply believe in you may be amazed at the results.
Passion gives people the desire, courage and tenacity to overcome obstacles such as fear. It’s one of the key determinants of success and tapping into your passion is great for your health and well-being too! As George Burns once said “I’d really be a failure at something I love, then a success at something I hate.”
If you need some help rekindling your passion check out The Passion Pack described in the resources section.
5.) BREAK FREE OF THE COMFORT RUT – DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS
Fear and venturing into the unknown often go hand in hand. Many people trade off their deeper passions and longings for material comforts and status that can only ever give fleeting satisfaction. They get stuck in the comfort rut. Outwardly, they appear successful but in fact they are deeply unfulfilled.
We all like to be comfortable, to do well and be well off, but the comfort rut’s a bit like wearing an old shoe – you just keep putting it on because it feels familiar. But in your heart of hearts you know you’ve outgrown it and it’s time to change.
Being true to your self can be the most comfortable feeling of all. What are you doing that is not authentic in your life? Are you trying to be someone you are not?
6.) TAKE ACTION
Fear freezes people in their tracks, immobilises people. Half the time it is the putting off of something that is more worrying (and exhausting) then actually doing the thing you fear. Procrastination and indecision are the thieves of time and robbers of dreams. Don't just think about it - do something about it! Take a leaf out of Susan Jeffers’ best selling book - feel the fear and do it anyway! As Susan say’s: “do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” Now that’s got to be a good thing!
7.) DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
Many people take criticism and setbacks far too personally. If you see failure as a learning process you are less likely to beat yourself up for making mistakes along the way. You’ll also be less likely to take other people’s criticism too heart. As Terry Bragg notes: “Failure is about behaviour, outcomes and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesn’t mean you are a failure.” Because you made a mistake or might make a mistake, doesn’t make YOU a failure. Learn to laugh at yourself. Humour is a great tonic.
8.) BIBLIOTHERAPY
Bibliotherapy is just a fancy word that counsellors use for reading! A great way to whip fear of failure into shape is to learn from “fear experts” – those who have succeeded in spite of their fears. I like to collect clippings and articles about people who have gained great success after failing, again and again. The US singer, Meatloaf is someone who comes to mind. His best selling album, Bat Out of Hell was “rejected” over 5,000 times! But did he let it get to him? No!! He persevered in spite off a few (thousand) failures along the way.
Inspiring people and books are like vitamins for our souls. Some good books on overcoming fear are listed in the Resource Section at the end of this newsletter.
9.) SEND YOUR CRITICS ON A HOLIDAY
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
–Mark Twain, Writer
If you are steering towards more passion and success in your life, people may be jealous or threatened and criticise you. Be passionate and successful anyway! Don’t be put off by negative feedback. Don’t wait for others to give approval to your life. Be brave, be bold, be firm. You’ll soon conquer your fears and convince others.
Stay away from negative people. So many successful products and services would never exist today if people had listened to the so-called experts, for example:
*Susan Jeffers, author of “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” had her book rejected by numerous publishers. One said to her: “Lady Di could be cycling down the road naked, giving this book away, and no one would what it!” Her book has gone on to sell millions of copies worldwide.
*The designers and producers of the Volkswagen Beetle were told “The average car-buyer will see no attraction in it. It is too ugly and too loud.” The Beetle went on to sell more than any other car and ignored the source of its lasting appeal.
*Peter Jackson was told that making a trilogy was a less than clever idea. Instead, the so-called-experts, urged him to condense The Lord of The Rings into a 90-minute movie. Thankfully Peter Jackson persevered with his vision and cleaned up the 2004 Oscars as a result!
10.) PERSISTANCE
Winston Churchill in one of the great stories of history was once asked if he could summarise the lessons of his life in a few words, and he stood up and he said, “I can summarise the major lessons of my life in seven words: never give up, never, never give up.”
In the final analysis the key to your success is your ability to hang in longer than anybody else. In all the studies of winners and peak performers, the quality of persistence is to the character of a man or woman as carbon is to steel. Persistence only comes to the fore when everything around you falls apart and you feel like quitting.
Are you willing to press on in the face of obstacles, difficulties, disappointments, falling on your face, losing your money etc? Persistence holds the key.
11.) MIND, BODY and SPIRIT
Affirmations, exercise, aromatherapy, and wearing colours that make you feel better about who you are and what you have to offer are just some of the critical tools in the war against fear. Many people underestimate the power of these simple but effective strategies. For example, exercise promotes the production of positive endorphins, which play a key role in making us feel better about ourselves and our capacity to cope.
Similarly, tests of brain patterns show that positive thoughts trigger the production of feel good hormones to those areas of the brain responsible for positive emotions.
Be a guard for your words, thoughts and feelings and call in the cavalry – grab anything that makes you feel better about yourself and what you have to offer.
12.) TAKE A CALCULATED RISK
What’s the worst that could happen? Get clear about the worst-case scenarios and assess your capability to survive. How can you minimise the risk of this happening?
Here are a few examples of ways people minimised their risks before they jumped:
*Claire wanted to start her own business. Her worse case scenario was that nobody would buy her services. To minimise this risk she identified ways to cut back on spending so that in the unlikely case that no business came her way she knew that financially she could survive.
*Dan worried that if he asked someone for a job they might say no. The worse that could happen was that no one would ever say “yes, we have a job for you.” To minimise his risk he invested in career coaching to help him improve his strategy but also to help him identify Plan B - alternative career options he could pursue. He realized that the “safer option of doing nothing at all” would be a far greater problem them just going out into the job market and getting a few rejections.
13.) INTENSIFY YOUR DESIRE
As Paul Arden notes, “Nearly all rich and powerful people are not notably talented, educated, charming or good looking. They become rich and powerful by wanting to be rich and powerful.”
If you really want to whip the fear of failure into shape then let desire not fear guide you. What results do you want in your life? What do you deserve? What are you prepared to trade?
Set goals and commit to bite sized, but personally challenging, actions to get you there. Focus on what you want not what you fear. If you want to be courageous, brave and confident then act courageously, bravely and confidently – consistently! If you get stuck in the fear rut again re-read this article and any other tools that can help you achieve what you want in your life.
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4. RESOURCES YOU CAN USE
The Passion Pack - If you would like to discover some more ways you can inject more passion and satisfaction into your career and life check out The Passion Pack – an inspirational self-development tool, developed by me to help people like you! Full of strategies to overcome the fear of failure and other barriers to a more passionate life. For more details or to order one check out my website www.worklifesolutions.co.nz. It would make a great gift too.
Career and life coaching – Ccoaching can help you overcome obstacles, get clearer about your goals and tap into proven strategies to help you achieve them. Check out my website for more information about career or life coaching or contact me in person Cassandra@worklifesolutions.co.nz. I’d love to hear from you.
Books - You can get all the books listed below and many more at my favourite, inspirational, book store Pinnacle Books. Phone Colin or Laurel, free phone on 0800 888-004 or visit their website www.pinnaclebooks.co.nz. They would love to hear from you.
“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”
By Susan Jeffers;
“Living Out Loud”
By NZ author and counsellor, Kay Douglas;
“Fearless”
By best-selling NZ author and psychotherapist, Wayne Frogatt
“The Worrywarts Companion: 21 Ways to Soothe Yourself and Worry Smart”
By Dr. Beverly Potter
“It’s Not How Good You are, It’s How Good You Want to Be”
By marketing and advertising guru Paul Ardon
Websites - Listed below are just a few of the zillions of websites that address issues related to fear. Self-help by searching for more on www.google.com. If you find any more brilliant ones please let me know – I’d love to share them with others.
http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/fear-of-failure.html
http://www.susanjeffers.com
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5. A FINAL WORD!
There are several approaches that people can take to bring about changes in their life:
1.You can work on changing the way you think about things until you feel more confident and ready to commit to action
2.You can work at changing your emotional reactions to events, to take the sting out of situations, so that you feel more able to take action;
3.Or you can tackle fear on the head by taking action. Working at a behavioural level often works really well, because once people have had direct experience of something, their thoughts and feelings are often re-evaluated, leading to lasting change.
A final, final word…….What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What would you achieve? I dare you to give it a go!!
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6. CLOSING NOTES
I LOVE TO HEAR YOUR SUCCESS STORIES. PLEASE SEND ME A NOTE! You can email me at: Cassandra@worklifesolutions.co.nz
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The author of this newsletter is Cassandra Gaisford. Cassandra is a leading expert on the topic of passion and career success. Cassandra is a popular and widely recognised author and motivational speaker as well as a columnist and career expert for the Dominion Post. Her free Newsletter is available at her Web site, http://www.worklifesolutions.co.nz
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